Eight tried and tested ways that will definitely get you thrown off a plane in 2017!

Published January 7th, 2017 - 21:31 GMT

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As ridiculous as it may sound, travelling these days has become more complicated, more tricky and definitely more ridiculous. From not being allowed carry a bottle of shampoo through security to the widespread racial profiling of Arabs and Muslims, there’s a very wide spectrum of opportunity for things to go terribly awry for the average traveller. Continue reading below »

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If you can, speak Arabic on the flight - it was enough to get YouTube star Adem Saleh all the headlines. If you can’t, mumble some Arabic sounding gibberish or try to mimic the bad guys in the TV show Homeland and that should do the trick. After all, it’s the intention that counts!
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Image 1 of 8:  1 / 8If you can, speak Arabic on the flight - it was enough to get YouTube star Adem Saleh all the headlines. If you can’t, mumble some Arabic sounding gibberish or try to mimic the bad guys in the TV show Homeland and that should do the trick. After all, it’s the intention that counts!

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Send a text message to your loved ones in Arabic. Never mind telling them you’ve safely arrived, any words will do as long as it looks foreign and intimidating. And remember if you use Arabizi it won’t work!
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Image 2 of 8:  2 / 8Send a text message to your loved ones in Arabic. Never mind telling them you’ve safely arrived, any words will do as long as it looks foreign and intimidating. And remember if you use Arabizi it won’t work!

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Carry a book written in Arabic to strike fear into the hearts of Islamophobes. Bring the Holy Qu’ran and they may just burst into tears!
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Image 3 of 8:  3 / 8Carry a book written in Arabic to strike fear into the hearts of Islamophobes. Bring the Holy Qu’ran and they may just burst into tears!

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Start praying - instant panic guaranteed.
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Image 4 of 8:  4 / 8Start praying - instant panic guaranteed.

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Make sure your wife looks oppressed. Force her to sit in the aisle seat, know her favorites drinks and snacks and order them for her yourself. That’s what oppression looks like.
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Image 5 of 8:  5 / 8Make sure your wife looks oppressed. Force her to sit in the aisle seat, know her favorites drinks and snacks and order them for her yourself. That’s what oppression looks like.

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Sweating. Yes people, sweat away. After all, if it was good enough for political science graduate Khairuldeen Makhzoomi, it’s good enough for you.
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Image 6 of 8:  6 / 8Sweating. Yes people, sweat away. After all, if it was good enough for political science graduate Khairuldeen Makhzoomi, it’s good enough for you.

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If you’re a smooth operator, you can do a ‘Guido Menzio’ and cryptically scribble away some mathematical equations. Coupled with a darker complexion, this terrifying and suspicious activity will get security at your side in a jiffy.
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Image 7 of 8:  7 / 8If you’re a smooth operator, you can do a ‘Guido Menzio’ and cryptically scribble away some mathematical equations. Coupled with a darker complexion, this terrifying and suspicious activity will get security at your side in a jiffy.

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Ask to switch seats - this rattled people on several flights so much so that a number of Arabs were removed, as was a Sikh gentleman. But he got bonus points for his turban.
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Image 8 of 8:  8 / 8Ask to switch seats - this rattled people on several flights so much so that a number of Arabs were removed, as was a Sikh gentleman. But he got bonus points for his turban.

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1

If you can, speak Arabic on the flight - it was enough to get YouTube star Adem Saleh all the headlines. If you can’t, mumble some Arabic sounding gibberish or try to mimic the bad guys in the TV show Homeland and that should do the trick. After all, it’s the intention that counts!

Image 1 of 8If you can, speak Arabic on the flight - it was enough to get YouTube star Adem Saleh all the headlines. If you can’t, mumble some Arabic sounding gibberish or try to mimic the bad guys in the TV show Homeland and that should do the trick. After all, it’s the intention that counts!

2

Send a text message to your loved ones in Arabic. Never mind telling them you’ve safely arrived, any words will do as long as it looks foreign and intimidating. And remember if you use Arabizi it won’t work!

Image 2 of 8Send a text message to your loved ones in Arabic. Never mind telling them you’ve safely arrived, any words will do as long as it looks foreign and intimidating. And remember if you use Arabizi it won’t work!

3

Carry a book written in Arabic to strike fear into the hearts of Islamophobes. Bring the Holy Qu’ran and they may just burst into tears!

Image 3 of 8Carry a book written in Arabic to strike fear into the hearts of Islamophobes. Bring the Holy Qu’ran and they may just burst into tears!

4

Start praying - instant panic guaranteed.

Image 4 of 8Start praying - instant panic guaranteed.

5

Make sure your wife looks oppressed. Force her to sit in the aisle seat, know her favorites drinks and snacks and order them for her yourself. That’s what oppression looks like.

Image 5 of 8Make sure your wife looks oppressed. Force her to sit in the aisle seat, know her favorites drinks and snacks and order them for her yourself. That’s what oppression looks like.

6

Sweating. Yes people, sweat away. After all, if it was good enough for political science graduate Khairuldeen Makhzoomi, it’s good enough for you.

Image 6 of 8Sweating. Yes people, sweat away. After all, if it was good enough for political science graduate Khairuldeen Makhzoomi, it’s good enough for you.

7

If you’re a smooth operator, you can do a ‘Guido Menzio’ and cryptically scribble away some mathematical equations. Coupled with a darker complexion, this terrifying and suspicious activity will get security at your side in a jiffy.

Image 7 of 8If you’re a smooth operator, you can do a ‘Guido Menzio’ and cryptically scribble away some mathematical equations. Coupled with a darker complexion, this terrifying and suspicious activity will get security at your side in a jiffy.

8

Ask to switch seats - this rattled people on several flights so much so that a number of Arabs were removed, as was a Sikh gentleman. But he got bonus points for his turban.

Image 8 of 8Ask to switch seats - this rattled people on several flights so much so that a number of Arabs were removed, as was a Sikh gentleman. But he got bonus points for his turban.

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So in light of the completion of the horrendous year that was 2016, you might find yourself feeling ready for a challenge as the new era of 2017 unfolds. Indeed, ff you find yourself bored, restless, eager for adventure, here are eight guaranteed ways, tried and tested by our Arab and Muslim compatriots - thank you very much, to get yourself forcibly removed and thrown off a plane. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

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