New year, new ME? 8 fantasy new year's resolutions for the Middle East in 2014

Published January 2nd, 2014 - 10:50 GMT

Rate Article:

2.5
 
PRINT Send Mail
comment (0)

Every December, people worldwide take the opportunity to reflect on the year that has past, as well as the year ahead. For many, the new year represents a fresh start to get rid of bad habits or start something new. 

Making a new year’s resolution has become a long-lived tradition to welcome in this new beginning and time of renewal. The habit dates back to the ancient Babylonians. While folks of the past made promises of paying debts and returning objects, today's generation often makes a mix of funny, weird and self-centered resolutions.  Continue reading below »

View as list
Haifa Wehbe: In 2014, Wehbe should learn how to sing! The Lebanese singing diva has it all, except for a good voice that is! Voice lessons may just be the ticket for this lovely lady, but if all else fails, perhaps she can hire some new audio engineers to turn her screeches into melodies! We hear that auto-tune works wonders these days!
Reduce

Image 1 of 8:  1 / 8Haifa Wehbe: In 2014, Wehbe should learn how to sing! The Lebanese singing diva has it all, except for a good voice that is! Voice lessons may just be the ticket for this lovely lady, but if all else fails, perhaps she can hire some new audio engineers to turn her screeches into melodies! We hear that auto-tune works wonders these days!

Enlarge
Myriam Fares: Our Shakira wannabe is probably hoping 2014 will bring her an even bigger booty - and pray that people won’t realize that she IS a Shakira copycat and still buy her albums! For Fares, is there really anything money can’t (make or) buy? Otherwise, it'll be a year of Beyonce-esque squats for tip top bootyliciousness!
Reduce

Image 2 of 8:  2 / 8Myriam Fares: Our Shakira wannabe is probably hoping 2014 will bring her an even bigger booty - and pray that people won’t realize that she IS a Shakira copycat and still buy her albums! For Fares, is there really anything money can’t (make or) buy? Otherwise, it'll be a year of Beyonce-esque squats for tip top bootyliciousness!

Enlarge
Tamer Hosny: After haters dissed his wife’s far-from-fashionista closet throughout 2013, T is planning to make 2014 one filled with memories worth millions...at the mall. We'll bet Hosny's resolved to spend big bucks (thanks MBC!) to boost wife Basma's wardrobe - no more drab mom jeans for momma Hosny!
Reduce

Image 3 of 8:  3 / 8Tamer Hosny: After haters dissed his wife’s far-from-fashionista closet throughout 2013, T is planning to make 2014 one filled with memories worth millions...at the mall. We'll bet Hosny's resolved to spend big bucks (thanks MBC!) to boost wife Basma's wardrobe - no more drab mom jeans for momma Hosny!

Enlarge
Bashar Al Assad: The Syrian president had a good 2013 - he managed to stay in power and avoid World War III!  With Western nations now calling  for him to stay in offce, a move that may spark a renewed refugee crisis, Assad’s New Year’s wish seems likely to be to continuing on his brutal trek since all things nefarious worked for him in 2013.
Reduce

Image 4 of 8:  4 / 8Bashar Al Assad: The Syrian president had a good 2013 - he managed to stay in power and avoid World War III! With Western nations now calling for him to stay in offce, a move that may spark a renewed refugee crisis, Assad’s New Year’s wish seems likely to be to continuing on his brutal trek since all things nefarious worked for him in 2013.

Enlarge
Benjamin Netenyahu: The Israeli PM did his reputation no favours with his reckless spending habits - with $3,000 being spent on icecream and thousands on a mile high double bed, many rolled their eyes when Bibi skipped Mandela's funeral, citing 'cost reasons'! In 2014, Bibi needs to get out the piggy bank and learn how to save his shekels!
Reduce

Image 5 of 8:  5 / 8Benjamin Netenyahu: The Israeli PM did his reputation no favours with his reckless spending habits - with $3,000 being spent on icecream and thousands on a mile high double bed, many rolled their eyes when Bibi skipped Mandela's funeral, citing "cost reasons"! In 2014, Bibi needs to get out the piggy bank and learn how to save his shekels!

Enlarge
King of Jordan: King Abdullah scored some mega ‘man of the people’ points with his latest photo-op pushing cars out of the snow with locals during storm Alexa.  To keep up the good press, in 2014, the Hashemite king should plan a weekly photo-op with the “common folk.” After all, what better way to keep a Jordanian “spring” at bay?
Reduce

Image 6 of 8:  6 / 8King of Jordan: King Abdullah scored some mega ‘man of the people’ points with his latest photo-op pushing cars out of the snow with locals during storm Alexa. To keep up the good press, in 2014, the Hashemite king should plan a weekly photo-op with the “common folk.” After all, what better way to keep a Jordanian “spring” at bay?

Enlarge
Taxi Driver: What to change when you’re already perfect? Most Arab taxi chauffeurs live in a world where any accident or blown horn in traffic is never their fault. Resolution for 2014? To continue on their trajectory of being the “best” drivers on the road as they become your shrink with a cigarette or two in hand…
Reduce

Image 7 of 8:  7 / 8Taxi Driver: What to change when you’re already perfect? Most Arab taxi chauffeurs live in a world where any accident or blown horn in traffic is never their fault. Resolution for 2014? To continue on their trajectory of being the “best” drivers on the road as they become your shrink with a cigarette or two in hand…

Enlarge
Syrian refugees: With some living in cities and others shivering inside UN camps, many Syrians hope that 2014 will bring an end to the brutal civil war. To return home may never be possible, but in solidarity with the Syrian people, we hope for a resolution of peace that will end the fighting destroying lives both in and outside of Syria.
Reduce

Image 8 of 8:  8 / 8Syrian refugees: With some living in cities and others shivering inside UN camps, many Syrians hope that 2014 will bring an end to the brutal civil war. To return home may never be possible, but in solidarity with the Syrian people, we hope for a resolution of peace that will end the fighting destroying lives both in and outside of Syria.

Enlarge

1

Haifa Wehbe: In 2014, Wehbe should learn how to sing! The Lebanese singing diva has it all, except for a good voice that is! Voice lessons may just be the ticket for this lovely lady, but if all else fails, perhaps she can hire some new audio engineers to turn her screeches into melodies! We hear that auto-tune works wonders these days!

Image 1 of 8Haifa Wehbe: In 2014, Wehbe should learn how to sing! The Lebanese singing diva has it all, except for a good voice that is! Voice lessons may just be the ticket for this lovely lady, but if all else fails, perhaps she can hire some new audio engineers to turn her screeches into melodies! We hear that auto-tune works wonders these days!

2

Myriam Fares: Our Shakira wannabe is probably hoping 2014 will bring her an even bigger booty - and pray that people won’t realize that she IS a Shakira copycat and still buy her albums! For Fares, is there really anything money can’t (make or) buy? Otherwise, it'll be a year of Beyonce-esque squats for tip top bootyliciousness!

Image 2 of 8Myriam Fares: Our Shakira wannabe is probably hoping 2014 will bring her an even bigger booty - and pray that people won’t realize that she IS a Shakira copycat and still buy her albums! For Fares, is there really anything money can’t (make or) buy? Otherwise, it'll be a year of Beyonce-esque squats for tip top bootyliciousness!

3

Tamer Hosny: After haters dissed his wife’s far-from-fashionista closet throughout 2013, T is planning to make 2014 one filled with memories worth millions...at the mall. We'll bet Hosny's resolved to spend big bucks (thanks MBC!) to boost wife Basma's wardrobe - no more drab mom jeans for momma Hosny!

Image 3 of 8Tamer Hosny: After haters dissed his wife’s far-from-fashionista closet throughout 2013, T is planning to make 2014 one filled with memories worth millions...at the mall. We'll bet Hosny's resolved to spend big bucks (thanks MBC!) to boost wife Basma's wardrobe - no more drab mom jeans for momma Hosny!

4

Bashar Al Assad: The Syrian president had a good 2013 - he managed to stay in power and avoid World War III!  With Western nations now calling  for him to stay in offce, a move that may spark a renewed refugee crisis, Assad’s New Year’s wish seems likely to be to continuing on his brutal trek since all things nefarious worked for him in 2013.

Image 4 of 8Bashar Al Assad: The Syrian president had a good 2013 - he managed to stay in power and avoid World War III! With Western nations now calling for him to stay in offce, a move that may spark a renewed refugee crisis, Assad’s New Year’s wish seems likely to be to continuing on his brutal trek since all things nefarious worked for him in 2013.

5

Benjamin Netenyahu: The Israeli PM did his reputation no favours with his reckless spending habits - with $3,000 being spent on icecream and thousands on a mile high double bed, many rolled their eyes when Bibi skipped Mandela's funeral, citing 'cost reasons'! In 2014, Bibi needs to get out the piggy bank and learn how to save his shekels!

Image 5 of 8Benjamin Netenyahu: The Israeli PM did his reputation no favours with his reckless spending habits - with $3,000 being spent on icecream and thousands on a mile high double bed, many rolled their eyes when Bibi skipped Mandela's funeral, citing "cost reasons"! In 2014, Bibi needs to get out the piggy bank and learn how to save his shekels!

6

King of Jordan: King Abdullah scored some mega ‘man of the people’ points with his latest photo-op pushing cars out of the snow with locals during storm Alexa.  To keep up the good press, in 2014, the Hashemite king should plan a weekly photo-op with the “common folk.” After all, what better way to keep a Jordanian “spring” at bay?

Image 6 of 8King of Jordan: King Abdullah scored some mega ‘man of the people’ points with his latest photo-op pushing cars out of the snow with locals during storm Alexa. To keep up the good press, in 2014, the Hashemite king should plan a weekly photo-op with the “common folk.” After all, what better way to keep a Jordanian “spring” at bay?

7

Taxi Driver: What to change when you’re already perfect? Most Arab taxi chauffeurs live in a world where any accident or blown horn in traffic is never their fault. Resolution for 2014? To continue on their trajectory of being the “best” drivers on the road as they become your shrink with a cigarette or two in hand…

Image 7 of 8Taxi Driver: What to change when you’re already perfect? Most Arab taxi chauffeurs live in a world where any accident or blown horn in traffic is never their fault. Resolution for 2014? To continue on their trajectory of being the “best” drivers on the road as they become your shrink with a cigarette or two in hand…

8

Syrian refugees: With some living in cities and others shivering inside UN camps, many Syrians hope that 2014 will bring an end to the brutal civil war. To return home may never be possible, but in solidarity with the Syrian people, we hope for a resolution of peace that will end the fighting destroying lives both in and outside of Syria.

Image 8 of 8Syrian refugees: With some living in cities and others shivering inside UN camps, many Syrians hope that 2014 will bring an end to the brutal civil war. To return home may never be possible, but in solidarity with the Syrian people, we hope for a resolution of peace that will end the fighting destroying lives both in and outside of Syria.

Reduce

No doubt the nature of resolutions change the world over - what someone in Timbuktu decides they need to work on in 2014 will vary from what someone in New York promises themselves at midnight on New Year's Eve. Similarly, the resolutions Middle Easterners will set themselves for 2014 will be linked to their ongoing surroundings - 2013 was a big year and lots of things changed the region's status quo. Looking back over the region's celebs and leaders (as well as standard cultural icons), and what they got up to last year, we've come up with some resolutions for them - to better their lives and ours!

From Bashar Assad to that taxi driver that won't stop talking, here are Al Bawaba's imaginary new year's resolutions for the Middle East.

Advertisement

Add a new comment

 avatar