Listen up, dear readers, to a modern fairy tale - a 21st Century riff on Goldilocks and the Three Bears. Except we’ve made a few changes. Our story takes place in Lebanon, where once upon a time there lived three little kittens: Nadine, Farah & Alice Abdel Aziz. (In case you’re wondering, you’re cast in the Goldilocks spot. You get to determine if Lebanon’s latest celebs are “just right.”)
The girls were terribly fond of three other sisters - the Kardashians - who lived in a plastic land far away called “Kalifornia.” Lebanon’s Sequel Sisters worshipped the original Kalifornia Klan. But where Kim K brought her family to stardom with a viral sex tape, our three wannabes didn’t have to stoop as low for their quick ride to the top. Their secret weapon? A passion for fashion.
The enhanced Abdel Aziz beauties popped onto the public radar through an Instagram page, “Style in Beirut,” where more than 150,000 followers track the fashionistas as they post an endless stream of self-snaps, pouty, posing with Victory fingers often in the same outfit, sporting awkward-looking dogs and giant sunglasses that Yoko Ono would adore.
Their crazy obsession with the scandalous U.S. family and their love for anything à la mode gave them a shot at reality TV. As the girls prepare to star in “The Sisters,” akin to the heavily-scripted “Keeping up with the Kardashians,” we’re hoping our ladies have learnt a thing or two from their bare-it-all idols, e.g. don’t wax your sister’s bikini line on national TV!
You may have had enough of high-falutin’ Amal Alamuddin-Clooney (how dare she dis her hubby’s Hollywood pals at the Golden Globes!). Perhaps you checked out low-brow Mia Khalifa, the Florida State football fan and fatwa-focus pornstar with Lebanese roots. Still no satisfaction! Can these three Beirut babes prove “just-right” for your voracious appetite for mental junk-food?
At the end of the original fairy tale, Goldi wakes up and runs away, never to be seen again. Let’s hope that you as the viewer of this set-to-fail (according to online critics) program do the same. As if the real Kardashians aren’t bad enough, the last thing the Middle East needs right now is a “klan” of knock-offs.
The million-dollar question remains: Will Alice, Nadine and Farah #breaktheinternet or will they just dent it slightly?
