Introducing yourself can affect how well you make friends, fit in at work or even get a job. It affects future opportunities and networking possibilities, support and a sense of belonging.
Being attentive to others is the key to great introductions. Are you shy? Introverted? This can mean that you may make a better impression than an extrovert explains All Events Advisor. If you talk more than you listen, you may seem self-centered to others.
Jeff Haden of Inc.com describes a social situation in which a man unsuccessfully introduced himself to Haden. Why was it unsuccessful? At a cycling event, this man introduced himself as an important businessman with plenty of important tasks. Haden explained that this was a kind of ego defense, that the man actually felt insecure rather than self-confident and that this technique wasn’t useful in the social context that they found themselves: it put up a barrier between the man and the rest of the cyclists.
Whether you’re walking into a social gathering or a job interview, there are some universal things to keep in mind when introducing yourself. People notice your hair and teeth, for instance, so make sure your teeth are clean and you look adequately groomed. Smile, smile, smile as this is one of the quickest and most impactful ways to make a good impression reminds All Events Advisor.
Make direct eye contact with others (except in Asian cultures where this can seem disrespectful) and pay attention to your body language. Stand straight but in a relaxed-not stiff-way. Avoid folding your arms or holding your body in a defensive position.
Haden describes the best ways to make social connections rather than win an interviewer over for a job. Make a brief introduction, he advises. Don’t give too much information about yourself at the onset. Keep your introduction in context, that is, don’t refer to your job position when you’re meeting a parent at the playground. Practice humility and keep initial conversations positive. You don’t want people to remember you as the complainer, criticizer or arrogant one. The best advice I can gives is to focus on the other person, to give them your attention. This is true no matter what situation you’re introducing yourself in.
That attention and true listening can give you clues as to how to best proceed. It can help you learn about the other person and find things that you have in common. It will help you to remember the person and find ways to connect with them and connect them with others.
Repeat someone’s name after meeting them to help you remember their name and try to form some mental link between the name, the person and some detail you’ve gleaned about them or the situation advises All Events Advisor. This will help you in the future if you have to introduce the person to someone else.
How do these rules apply to job interview introductions? Nancy Mitchell of Experience.com points out that your attitude and character matter just as much as the skills listed on your resume. Employers are looking for people that will fit well into company culture and they’re interested in qualities like courtesy and respect. That’s because those qualities are the foundation of good relationships and these are what’s behind all good business relationships.
One difference between job interviews and other forms of introductions is that you have 30 seconds — rather than five — to make a good first impression. Mitchell advises exhibiting enthusiasm and as far as focusing your attention? Turn off your smartphone, be courteous to the receptionist or whomever greets you, and be early or on time.
Make sure you’re dressed and groomed well and don’t let your nervousness or your attempts to be taken seriously prevent you from giving a pleasant smile. Hold yourself erect and in an open way but take care not to appear too casual or relaxed: this doesn’t seem respectful.
Practice a firm handshake, repeating your name to each person you meet and repeating their name as well. Use honorifics: Mr, Ms, Dr, President etc and repeat their names every time you address them. Think about personal distance depending upon cultural background. Two feet works in the US but Asians require more distance and those from Latino cultures and the Middle East are used to closer quarters.
Always stand when shaking hands and don’t litter a desk or table with personal items during an interview. Place them on another chair or on the floor beside you.
After the interview, thank each interviewer by name and shake hands again. Then email (or better yet, send a hand-written note) of thanks.
A good introduction can go far in getting interviewers on your side.
Don’t try and impress others with your accomplishments, unless they’re small fixes. Don’t work too hard at befriending others immediately because such relationships build over time. Be pleasant and respectful at first.
What you really want to learn, is who the influential people are. That takes patience and paying attention. Then you can subtly ask advice or information of these people without seeming like you’re prying. After awhile, others will talk you up and you won’t have to work so hard at winning others over.
