One of the most important keys to having a healthy relationship with yourself and others is knowing how to set healthy boundaries. This can be scary because it requires us to get to know ourselves on a deeper level in order to know what our boundaries look like. And for me that was quite challenging. My anxiety would always butt in every time the thought of setting boundaries occurred to me. Later on, I came to realize that I did not have a full understanding of what healthy boundaries really are and therefore acknowledging the unknown was scary to me. However, even though boundaries are not as obvious to know as we would hope, they are essential to maintain healthy and honest relationships with others as well as ourselves.
Boundaries can be a great way to get to know ourselves. While some people might set boundaries that are too rigid or too flexible, healthy boundaries strike just the right balance between the two. All of us have a certain tolerance limit and setting healthy boundaries help define that line for us and others. But like most things in life, knowing your healthy boundaries can be quite a challenge. Luckily, we are here to give you 3 crucial tricks on how you can come closer to identifying them.
Get to know yourself
In order to be able to know our boundaries then we need to know ourselves first. It is important to know what our wants and needs are. This way we can delve deeper into knowing ourselves, communicate our expectations and in result work on developing healthy boundaries.
Know your values
By knowing our values, we are ultimately knowing who we are at our cores. Try to determine what your top 5 or 7 values are and determine how they are incorporated in your life. Do you honor them? Do any of your friends or family challenge them? Ask yourself questions and reflect on how you can honor and stick to your values more, in order to know where your boundaries lay.
Listen to your gut
Your gut feeling is there for a reason. It is the way your body responds to something that seems off or unsettling. Listen to it and reflect on why you might feel this way. Your body is your messenger and it might be telling you that someone is treading on your boundaries or that you need to set one up.
The reason why setting healthy boundaries is important is because it has great benefits on your mental and emotional wellbeing. When we set boundaries we are putting our self-care and well being as a priority, which is quite instrumental. And when we take care of the relationship we have with ourselves, we have the power to develop healthy relationships with others.
“I believe that setting healthy boundaries is a sign of self-respect and self-love; two pillars that support and guide our mental and emotional wellbeing.
When you set healthy boundaries, you start valuing your own emotions, feelings and needs. You start understanding that you are only in charge of your own words, attitude and behavior. You start letting go of worrying how others feel and set accountability squarely with individuals. You start taking responsibility for your own happiness - because it all starts from WITHIN YOU.” - Dareen Kotob, Emotional Fitness Coach
But how can we set healthy boundaries?
- NO is a complete sentence, use it!
- Be assertive
- Safeguard your personal space and energy
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