A Star Wars sex scene that's too steamy for the censors? Jar Jar Binks getting assassinated? Those are just two of the fanciful plot points in an e-mail message that IFILM (www.ifilm.com) claims to have intercepted on its way from a 20th Century Fox exec to Lucasfilm.
The memo cautions that George Lucas may be risking an R rating with a steamy sex scene between Anakin, Hayden Christensen and Amidala, Natalie Portman, one that may even show a bit of royal nipple! And get a load of the dialogue: "Oh, that I could drive myself into you, not to satisfy myself, but to satisfy you … to fill you with my seed." Uh-huh.
Not to mention a scene in which Mace Windu, Samuel L. Jackson forces himself on Anakin's mom Shmi, Pernilla August, which is objected to in the e-mail, but with the studio's ass-kissing caveat: "We really do love the rape!"
By way of closing, the fictional correspondence makes reference to one exec's thoughts on improving Lucas' masterwork: "Tom, in particular, is an ardent Jar Jar booster and has some cogent thoughts on his assassination sequence that he would be more than willing to share." Yes, we also have some cogent thoughts on the subject, very cogent.
It certainly wouldn't be the first time that "Internet," "hoax," and Star Wars have turned up in the same sentence, but we thought we'd take the time to run down the far-out faux memo, which appears to be from the inbox of Lucasfilm's Lynn Hale.
What says Hale? "It's obviously bogus," she tells Mr. Showbiz. "I think they got my name from [the official Star Wars site]," she adds, admitting that it was sort of strange to see her name turn up in the spoof.
The powers that be at Lucasfilm are more amused than annoyed by the spoof, says Hale: "They were clearly just goofing. They wrote it in a way that no one would take it seriously."
No harm done, then. But curse you, IFILM pranksters, for raising our hopes about that Jar Jar assassination! – Albawaba.com.
© 2000 Al Bawaba (www.albawaba.com)
