Figuring out who we really are is no piece of cake. Because by trying to know who we really are, we are threatening our peace by digging deep and daring to meet ourselves. And while this might be scary, it is a necessary step to learning how to live truthfully and authentically.
While many might not even be aware of the importance of learning about ourselves, there are also those struggling with how to start pushing back against their identity crisis.
Here are 6 ways that can you help you find your inner voice and better know yourself:
1. Become more aware
An integral part of unraveling ourselves is becoming more self-aware. While starting something might be the hardest step, learning more about yourself and building a sense of awareness is an essential first step.
You can start by asking yourself questions about your preferences, values, and beliefs. Sit with yourself and try to figure out what triggers you. Try to find the things that make you happy or sad or angry and take note of them. By learning about your values and triggers, you are shedding light on the building blocks of who you are at your core.
Sit with yourself, tune inwards and take note of things that you are passionate about.
When do you feel at your happiest?
What are your little sparks of joy?
How do you cope with difficult times?
What makes you sad and angry?
What are the things that lighten you up and drive you? What are your interests, hobbies and passions?
What do you feel your purpose is?
2. Observe then question
As you dig deep into who you are and begin to understand what feels like the real you, you might start to experience thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that seem foreign and new. That is when you need to take a step back and observe these thoughts and feelings. Try to understand where they are coming from. Observe them without any kind of acceptance or rejection.
Once you come to understand them you can determine if they align with your values and beliefs or not. And then you can begin to question them.
An instrumental part of becoming self aware is learning not to take things at surface level. You need to observe, question, and then acknowledge any truth behind your thoughts and feelings.
3. Silence external opinions and judgements
Many of us find it difficult to figure ourselves out because we have been told our whole lives who to be, what to feel, and how to act. As kids, we grew up to believe that to be good and worthy meant to conform to the wants and needs of society. Soon enough we grew into adults who no longer recognized their own voices.
However, the thing I realized while growing up is that no matter what you do, someone will always have something to say. Because the reality of things is that you cannot make everyone happy. There will always be someone who doesn't like you or what you do. But guess what?
What they think is irrelevant. What matters is what YOU think.
That is why it is important to learn how to block judgements and opinions of people who do not matter. If you feel they are stepping over your boundaries or what you believe aligns with who you are, silence their words. Meeting their expectations is not your responsibility, your only responsibility is focusing on yourself.
4. Challenge your inner critic
But no one can be as critical or judgmental of you as YOU. We all have an inner critic inside us who judges us and points out our failures and mistakes. And the same way it is important to silence the judgment of others, it is even more important to challenge the judgments and thoughts of our inner critic.
Start by rationalizing and challenging your inner critic and understanding where these thoughts are stemming from. By doing so you are learning how to be kind and understanding with yourself as you would be with someone else.
The point is to get to know yourself the way you would know someone else, in a kind, judgment-free, and open manner.
5. Seek support and guidance
There is no shame in needing the help and support of others. Sometimes enlisting the help of a professional who can guide us in knowing ourselves is key to move forward. Talking to a specialist can help shed light on things you need to focus on to get to know yourself, and the next steps you need to take to overcome your identity crisis.
6. Let your inner voice out
Most importantly, let your voice out. Stop silencing your thoughts and feelings to make others comfortable. Listen to what your gut is telling you. You need to give space for your inner voice to come out, and you need to listen to it.
Silencing your voice and trying to keep it at bay will soon make you unable to recognize it. As a result, you might start blindly following the voices of others because you no longer know what your voice sounds like.
Speak with yourself, and listen to what you want to say. If you do not listen to your inner voice and honor it, no one else will.
Letting your voice out means you are able to understand that you are your own person and have every right to discover who you are at your very core. And that is how you live authentically and truthfully.
