Ramadan TV: Things we learned from being glued to the tube

Published July 5th, 2016 - 09:00 GMT
Funny girls Donia and Amy Samir Ghanem show us how to keep it real. (Screenshot)
Funny girls Donia and Amy Samir Ghanem show us how to keep it real. (Screenshot)

I can honestly say I failed my family, friends and boss with all the hours I spent cemented in front of my TV this month. I’m a shameless mosalsalat addict and I think I definitely need a Ramadan rehab. Come to think of it, I spent around 120 hours watching drama and suspense.

What have these 120 hours taught me? Absolutely nothing except for the next 26 life lessons: 

The letter ‘P’ in french is not silent

 

Your Psychiatrist can save your confessions on CDs and use them against you later. Oh and his office is most probably in Palm Hills

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Matektebsh Tawkeel

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Matektebsh Tawkeel wala tesharek 7d

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No kheyana. You will get caught

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Again no kheyana. You will get caught

 

Walahi no Kheyana. You will get caught

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ElKhanka of Syria is called 3asfureya

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Khali balko ya banat men goz elokht

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And okhtek too 

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Eyad Nassar is a man who can easily defy stereotypes as he managed to make crying look manly or at least that is what women convince themselves 

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Men get excited over Mohamed Ramadan more than women get excited over Dhafer L’Abidine 

 

 

Walahi guys, Refa3y ElDessoky is fictional which consequently means he did not really die 

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Refa3y’s beard is ugly as sh*t. Well, someone had to say it 

 

There’s a prison cell in Egypt that could be described as ‘Romantic’ 

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Oh and Laila Elwi has the Amr Diab non-aging, immortal, vampire thing going on

  

When you marry a cheap man, first thing to do when you get money is plastic surgery. Why? We don’t know, but Lebleba looked happy

 

We love Grand Hotel and all, but c’mon guys, just because Ali is suddenly rich and can marry Nazly, doesn’t mean we’ll be that lucky in our taboo love 

 

However, we will  give the Amins of the world a chance

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Stay away from the Ward you have in your life

  

Satan could come in the shape of a green-eyed, chubby and cute man. 3ady gedan yetla3 Magued El-Kedwani or Dream Park’s Dooby

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Sabrine just solved the whole ‘I won’t be allowed in that restaurant with a a hijab’ sa7el drama with a wig

 

If you ever get harassed, go all Ghada Abdul Raziq on the guy’s manhood. However, you will only be celebrating in ElKhanka

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Human cloning exists

بيومي-فؤاد

 

Be the Donia and Amy Samir Ghanem in a world filled with banat skinny damaha te2il we shada we nafkha

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ElCaesar ya3ni lifestyle

By Dina Hashish 

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