America’s favorite satirical news site, The Onion, has seen more than a few of its troll stories turn into actual news (think Netanyahu, Iran and the US earlier this year). Now it looks like a “Point/Counterpoint” gem from 2003 might have kind of predicted the whole Iraq war disaster, too.
The piece features a mullet-donning Onion character named “Nathan Eckert,” who argues the Iraq war “will destabilize the entire Mideast region and set off a global shockwave of anti-Americanism,” while a bronze-faced “Bob Sheffer” retorts “no it won’t.”
Back then, it was just another drippingly satirical example of what we’ve come to love most about the site, but today the words have become as darkly comedic as they are eerily true.
“Nathan Eckert” warns:
“This war will not put an end to anti-Americanism; it will fan the flames of hatred even higher. It will not end the threat of weapons of mass destruction; it will make possible their further proliferation. And it will not lay the groundwork for the flourishing of democracy throughout the Mideast; it will harden the resolve of Arab states to drive out all Western (i.e. U.S.) influence.”
"If you thought Osama bin Laden was bad, just wait until the countless children who become orphaned by U.S. bombs in the coming weeks are all grown up. Do you think they will forget what country dropped the bombs that killed their parents?"
“Bob Sheffer” just shrugs it off:
“No it won't. It just won't. None of that will happen. You're getting worked up over nothing. Everything is going to be fine. So just relax, okay? You're really overreacting.”
“Why do you keep saying these things? I can tell when there's trouble looming, and I really don't sense that right now. We're in control of this situation, and we know what we're doing. So stop being so pessimistic. Look, you've been proven wrong, so stop talking. You've had your say already. Be quiet, okay? Everything's fine.”
Meanwhile, in real-world 2015, now we’ve got Daesh.
By Elizabeth Tarbell
